Happy Friday friend.
I am glad we are not actually sitting down to have coffee today...
let me explain.
I am sick... I have an awful cold and do not want to share germs.
If I felt better I would have coffee with you in a heart beat.
So let's pretend.
Let's pretend we are both healthy and are sitting to have coffee.
I would first share with you about the pinterest party I went to last weekend. (future post coming)
It was so fun and I can not wait to attend another.
If my house were larger I would so host my own.
This summer for sure i will, I can have it outside on our patio!
The real reason I would want to have coffee with you today
is to share about some things I am struggling with.
If you haven't noticed I have not been as active on facebook or my blog this week.
I am not feeling right, I am feeling, well...
I know that's a scary term to throw at you.
I am okay, really I am.
Let me explain what I mean.
I don't feel like I want to end my life, I don't feel like I hate the world.
I just feel distant, withdrawn, overwhelmed, tired, sick, and unhealthy.
One thing I do is sleep a lot when I am depressed, which is a hard sign to figure out
as part of when my Crohn's acts up i get extreme fatigue.
only problem with lots of naps is that when you feel overwhelmed
things are still waiting for you when you get up and now you have less time to complete them.
Sometimes I dwell on the past,... did i make the right choices? (not most of the time)
I would tell you that I am scared to explain to my 10 yr old about the mistakes I made in the past.
How to explain them to her so that she sees they were wrong
but also that God can redeem us through them.
without her thinking she can mess up and everything will just be okay in the end...
I would tell you that I have over committed AGAIN!
I have agreed to too many things and feel I can not back out of any of them.
Although I am sure everyone would understand.
Then I realize I am trying to finish things in my own strength.
It's not that I don't pray and ask God for help, It's that I am not sincere when asking.
I ask him for help and expect him to make my hand magically do what I need to get done.
I am not relying on him to help me, to give me stamina, give me patience, give me the ability to complete each task.
Friend, I am asking you to pray for me.
Pray that the Lord will heal me and rid of this cold quickly.
Pray that I can complete each task I have committed to.
Pray I can do it with a positive attitude and complete each task well.
Pray also that I can humble myself and ask for help when needed.
thanks friend.
Now off to take some cold med and take a nap.
Don't forget you can finish your cup of coffee with Alissa from Rags to Stitches, Natassia from Nat's Knapsack, and Nay form Cover to cover
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Saying lots of prayers for you. Don't rush things, God makes them happen in His time and He LOVES you!
ReplyDeletePraying for you...I too have felt that word...depression....hang in there. I think it's really awesome that you put it out there on your blog....that is what I LOVE about blogging!
ReplyDeleteDear Life...From a Mom of boys
This was so intimate and real. Thank you for being honest and helping others along the way.
ReplyDeleteLove your honesty friend. Life is tough and a mama's job can be so overwhelming yet rewarding 2 seconds later. Much goes unnoticed and underappreciated yet it is the best thing you can do for your family. Just keep going, doing your best. Mistakes happen. We all have pasts, and all we can do is try to guide our little loves and help them when they stumble. Much love and a big, gas-masked hug as to not get the germies. -andrea
ReplyDeleteI so understand how you feel...except the Crohns. I sometimes feel just like that. I want to sleep it all away. I will keep you in my prayers. I struggle with depression and I know it is one of those "taboo" Blog topics but if it is real and if it helps to talk about it...then share. You never know, you might just find the encouragement you need. At the very least, you might find someone willing to lift you up in prayer.
ReplyDeleteoh dear friend you are in my prayers! I pray God touches you and heals you quickly! I pray He gives you the strength you need to get the important things done. Rest, relax and enjoy that beautiful family of yours! xoxo
ReplyDeleteFeel better soon!
Just prayed for everything you asked in this post! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteSaying prayers that you feel better! I have been feeling the same way this week. Thanks for being honest and sharing how you feel. I think we all have a tendency to think we are the only ones who feel this way.Sending hugs your way!
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you too... For all these area's where you feel weak and need strength, and even for you to be drawn nearer to Him, so that He can personally reveal to you just how powerful your prayers are! I know you love Him & trust Him, but once you get on those knees and beg Him for mercy or help, girllllllll!!!! You'll become addicted to it:) lol!
ReplyDeleteI'm going a bit further tonight, I'm going to request healing of this crowns flare up and hear me when I say that I'm claiming it! He is able <3. Trust that He can and then send me a note to confirm okay love:)
God bless you abundantly...
PS. I've been where you are, I know it's tough, so please don't think I m attempting to make lite of it bc I would never do that. He who promised is faithful though okay:) sending hugs to your home tonight!!